Dealing with Depression

How should a relative deal with depressed people?

For many family members, living with and dealing with depressed people is a challenge. Family members and friends want to cheer up their loved one who is depressed – but it doesn’t work. Depression is a serious illness that affects motivation, mood, sleep and the ability to feel joy, among other things. This insight is just as important for the relatives as it is for the person affected and is an important prerequisite for dealing with depression. Because depression is not a whim or malicious intent and is definitely not a sign of character weakness. Like any other illness, it requires professional help.

How can we help those affected?

It is often difficult for partners, family members and friends of a depressed person to see how bad this person is feeling. They wonder how best to help with depression. There are various ways to help people with depression to cope with the illness:

Support when visiting the doctor

If someone has been depressed, joyless and lacking motivation for a long period of time, it is important to seek professional help. Many of those affected rely on the support of their relatives for this first step. Depressed people often lack the motivation to make an appointment with a doctor or they do not believe that they will get help there. In addition, the diagnosis of depression seems threatening – many people are afraid of it. But it is often also a relief to know that the lack of joy in life is the result of an illness that can be treated. The diagnosis also relieves the patient because it becomes clear that it is not their fault that they constantly feel depressed. Use this information to motivate relatives with depression to seek help.

Have patience

People with depression withdraw and often appear hostile to those around them. Depressed people may not contact each other as often and may keep their distance. Social withdrawal and neglect of professional and everyday duties are typical effects of severe depression.

Relatives support the patient with patience and understanding. Be aware that the affected person’s behavior is not directed against you, but is part of a depressive phase. Do not turn away, even if your depressed relative seems to reject you.

Depression: Hope instead of pressure

Do not put pressure on a depressed person with comments like “Pull yourself together” – because “pulling yourself together” is not possible when you are depressed. Blaming others is also inappropriate and only makes the situation worse. The sick person blames themselves heavily anyway and suffers from feelings of guilt because of their depression. Maintaining the relationship and not giving up on the person affected helps to cope with the illness. Also important: Do not argue with your depressed relative about whether his negative view of the situation is “objectively” justified or not. This is also unlikely to be successful. Do not dismiss the intense physical discomfort experienced by the depressed person and his fears of physical illness as exaggerated or “only psychological”. Depressed people do not exaggerate their experiences.

Avoid well-intentioned advice

Be careful with well-intentioned advice: for example, don’t recommend that a depressed person switch off completely and go away for a few days. People with severe depression sometimes experience their joylessness even more painfully in unfamiliar surroundings. When someone completely withdraws from social life, it is natural to want to cheer them up or motivate them. Good advice that helps healthy people with problems is of no use to those with depression. Instead, it puts the patient under pressure. Not giving advice is of course a difficult task for relatives. But depression cannot be cured by activities and pleasant experiences. Depressed people are trapped in their negative thoughts and feelings and therefore need medication and/or psychotherapy.

Take suicidal thoughts seriously

In severe depression, sufferers sometimes lose the will to live. Suicidal thoughts are part of the depressive disorder and are exacerbated by hopelessness and strong self-doubt. When people with depression talk about taking their own lives, this is a serious warning signal! Inform a doctor or psychotherapist about the situation.

How can relatives help each other?

If a family member or friend’s depression lasts for months, it’s probably very stressful for you. Be aware of your own limits of resilience and don’t lose sight of your own interests completely.

Sometimes it happens that the negative mood of the depressed person also dampens your own mood. Therefore, it is important that you pay attention to positive experiences, cultivate your friendships and treat yourself to something nice more often – without feeling guilty towards your depressed relative.

You should also build up a network that supports and helps you in dealing with the sick person. Contact the responsible doctor or therapist. They will give you further information on how to deal with depression. Special self-help groups also offer help for relatives of people with depression.

Depression and Relationships

Depression and a relationship can often only be reconciled with great effort. A relationship thrives on mutual give and take. But people in a depressive phase are heavily dependent on support but are hardly able to give anything back. Sexuality also suffers. Depressed people often lose interest in sex. They reject their partner’s sexual needs. If this is the case in your relationship, remember: Losing interest in sex does not mean that your depressed partner no longer loves you and rejects you, but is a sign of depression. Overall, the relationship and your own affection are put to the test when your partner is depressed. You may develop feelings of guilt because you are unable to help your partner, and you may even become angry with them. If the depression lasts longer, you often feel overwhelmed and exhausted because you are emotionally burdened and have to take on many tasks for the patient. When a partner becomes depressed, a separation is often the result. Not only because the relative is overwhelmed by the situation. Depressed people also separate from their partner, for example because they no longer feel connected or understood by their partner. However, experts advise those affected and their relatives not to make momentous life decisions such as separation during a depressive episode, but to seek professional help beforehand.

A look into the mental health and depression here in the UAE

Mental health awareness in the UAE has grown significantly in recent years, but depression remains a concern. Cultural stigma often discourages seeking help, though campaigns and initiatives are addressing this. The UAE government has prioritized mental health by including it in national health strategies and increasing access to counselling and psychiatric services.

Expats, who make up a large part of the population, often face unique stressors like isolation, financial pressures, and lack of family support, contributing to mental health challenges. Check your insurance policy for an EAP access which can help tackle your mental and emotional well-being.